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The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision/ And you can be cured with some treatment and religion/ Man-made rewiring of a predisposition/ Playing God, aw nah here we go/ America the brave still fears what we don’t know/ And God loves all his children, is somehow forgotten/ But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago/ I don’t know. 

I didn’t watch the GRAMMYs last night.

I always catch onto music trends about six months after the fact, so anytime I try to keep it current, I just reveal my ignorance. However, I did keep up on Twitter last night, and as I laughed along about Pharell’s hat and Lorde’s soulless gaze, I saw news of the marriage ceremony that took place on the GRAMMY stage. And as I turned it over in my mind, four truths began to sift to the surface.  

#1 Marriage is Not a Spectacle 

Unless you’re trying to make a brash political move.

Why else would you use music’s biggest night as an excuse to march across the stage, en masse, and say “I do?” It’s disingenuous to claim that what happened last night was about love.

I am not claiming that the heterosexual and homosexual couples involved don’t love each other. But I’m thinking that their love took a backburner to the lights, camera, and action activism that was on display in Queen Latifah’s ceremony.

Marriage is not a spectacle unless you have a point to make.

But the Gospel? The gruesome  and glorious death of our Savior on the cross? This is a spectacle that we need to make much of, a dramatic display of God’s redemptive plan throughout history. This is central, not just to marriage, but to life itself.

#2 Marriage is Not About Love

Not entirely.

One of the central tenets of the homosexual movement is that we can’t help who we fall in love with. But, as believers, we’re subjected to a higher standard than the one who gives us butterflies. [pullquote position=”right”]If marriage is chiefly about love, it’s chiefly about the love we have for God and how our love for all others is interpreted through that lens.[/pullquote]

The Macklemore song that blasted during the couples’ ceremony has a lot to say about love and hate, and dissolves into a crooning of 1 Corinthians 13, a popular trademark of many a ceremony. But the love 1 Corinthians 13 calls us to is a much higher call than same-sex or opposite-sex attraction: it’s the love that drove my Savior to the Cross for my sin, which he does not love or overlook, but for which he of so great a love bled and died!

Unless this is the kind of love that is central to our discussion of the homosexual lifestyle, and of marriage, we’re having the wrong conversation.

#3 Marriage is Not About Acceptance 

Marriage is about forbearing with one another’s sins.

But we can’t get anywhere with the stuck-in-the-rut mentality of giving in to our predispositions. I am a sinner. My predisposition is to be opposed to the will of God all day every day (Romans 7). There are changes that I need to make in my life day in and day out. And marriage is all about changing. Growing. Learning.

I am inherently unacceptable to God. It is only through the spectacle of Christ’s loving death on the Cross that I can drawn near to the Father. It is only through the spectacle of Christ’s loving death on the Cross that I can draw near to others in a meaningful way.

#4 This Ceremony Was Not About Marriage 

This ceremony was not about marriage.

And it’s naive of us to think that the homosexual agenda is simply about marriage.

It’s also naive of us to think that marriage is just about marriage.

It’s not. It’s about Christ and his Bride. And an attack on marriage is an attack on one of the clearest pictures of the Gospel that we have in this life.

The problem with the homosexual lifestyle is not that it makes me uncomfortable. The problem with the homosexual lifestyle is not that I have a personal vendetta against gay people. The problem with the homosexual lifestyle isn’t that it is an affront to my lifestyle.

The problem with what happened last night is rooted far, far deeper: fundamentally, it is a blatant display of a misunderstanding of the message of the Gospel. Heterosexual, homosexual, anywhere on the straight/”queer” spectrum, if we don’t get the Gospel right, then conversations about our personal rights as we find them in that Book written “thirty-five hundred years ago” are meaningless.

[pullquote position=”right”]What the GRAMMYs taught me about marriage is that we do not understand it[/pullquote], because we don’t view human relationships through a Gospel paradigm.

We preach acceptance… through the monumental spectacle of unearned love by blood of Christ and for the glory of God. And the world does not know or understand it. So when we start the conversation that needs to be had about these issues… let’s start there.

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