Why I Married a Black Woman

Comments (14)
  1. enock asante says:

    black girl are my happy thank u

  2. Mon says:

    Just out of curiosity do you ever think the subject of men who do have a fetish for other ethnic groups even ignoring good potentials who share the same ethnicity as them will be addressed on a post on RAAN one day? It is something I see in a lot of people.

    1. bbnks says:

      I know that your question is directed to the author, but while there are some men who may have fetishes for women in ethnic groups other than their own I wonder how many men do. Concerning African American men, this posting is interesting:

      1. MON says:

        Thank you for the article. I found it and the video at the end interesting. It is an old debate and topic in the black community. I’d love to know what other people think. I’ve definite been turned down because I was amazing he said, but he really wanted to be with an Asian or Latina. He has every right to date what he likes, but the fact that he told me I had everything he was looking for besides the right skin color, “good hair”, and exotic feel. This was coming from a black man by the way. I don’t count him as a loss at all, I dodged an immature man for sure, but It’s something I’ve seen in other men too. Its discouraging. Thanks for responding! Feel free to add your thoughts. Curious as to what other people think.

  3. Shelby MacFarlane says:

    You got to the essence of the matter. I am married to a white man and I am white also. However, I did not marry him because of his color. I married him because of his character, his personality, his “wicked” sense of humor, his loving tenderness. When our children began college and brought friends of all ethnic backgrounds home, we discussed this. I advised them to look for the qualities I mentioned above – period. God may guide us to one who is like us or He may lead us to someone of a different ethnicity or color. The important issue is that we follow His guidance in this crucial choice of our lives.

  4. Anna says:

    Love this, Phil! Thank you for sharing.

  5. Taylor Barrett says:

    Congratulations on finding a wife! … However, because you nonchalantly mention your long list of ex-girlfriends, I must ask: Is “dating” biblical? I do not think so. We should be very careful about the way we talk about our past lives of sinfulness. It is not good for children of God to go about recreational dating, creating intimate romantic relationships with different people. We should only begin an intimate romantic relationship when we are certain that the person is the one we want to marry. Now, I am not blameless, my past is filled with sexual immorality before I became a Christian and occasionally I do fall into sin now that I am born-again, however I would not go around talking about my past sins in a flippant manner. You may not even realize it, but the intimate romantic relationships you create when “dating” are going to result in life long spiritual repercussions and will prevent you from having as excellent marriage as otherwise possible.

    1. Stokley says:

      Wow! Just wow!

      I think it’s unbelievably rude to direct your own personal judgement on someone who chose to open up and share his personal experiences and how he came to realize what qualities he was looking for in a wife. Instead of sharing your opinion on the subject you decided to run off topic and do so by critizing some of the details regarding his past and how he chose to tell his story, or as you said “how we talk about our past sinfulness”, which honestly makes no sense considering he wasn’t glorifying any of his past choices regarding dating nor did he say who he did and didn’t have intimate relationships with, so I suppose you fell he should have lied about his past or bottle it and hide it?

      I may be wrong but It’s easy for one to come to a conclusion your comment was less about him and more about you trying to impress people by trying to come off educated on the subject. I’ve been to many churches and have had the opportunity to meet and listen to some incredibe teachers and pastors and I’ve got to say I’ve never heard anyone ever interpret the bibles view on dating the way you did. Again he never spoke on who and who he wasn’t intimate so I just can’t get where you’re coming from

  6. Red18 says:

    While I appreciate this article I question, who did you vote for? You married your wife for who she is, but did you vote, as a Christian, or as a black man? Because quite honestly, many blacks voted for the POTUS regardless of his highly liberal views, specifically abortion. Also many black preachers voted for him knowing his views and that he sat in an anti Christian +church for 20 years. You might say this doesn’t relate here but the question becomes, at least for me, who and what comes first, Christ or skin color?

  7. Jeff says:

    I’m hardly qualified to comment here. It can be challenging to define why ones spouse feels like home. I share Mr. Dixon’s affinity for my spouses cultural identity, and how it has shaped her worldview. No doubt her ethnicity played a part in that. I can no more say that her ethnicity was my exclusive reason for being with her any more than I could her geographic origin, her family, her faith, her education, etc. All of those things shaped her, and I love them all, but no one of them is the reason I married her. That said, it would be easy for me to write an article titled “why I married a nurse” and elaborate on that subject. But reading that article, it would be irrational to assume that nursing was the sole qualification I sought in a partner. No complaints about this response, it was beautifully written and a wonderful tribute to the relationship of the author’s wife and the faith they share. I just wanted to point out that the seeming criticism in this article, may be as narrow as the Essence article was perceived to be.

  8. ren says:

    Congratulations on your marriage – so exciting to be starting a life of service to Jesus Christ and His Eternal Kingdom with your God-made help by your side. As saints of the Most High God the colour of our skin is of absolutely no consequence as I am sure I have heard Pastor Baucham say in many a sermon (to my edification). In fact race and racial politics infiltrating the Church of Jesus Christ must be resisted at all costs that His Church would flourish in His identity solely and His ordained purposes.

    To this end why is there this network. Bring down the barriers and exalt Christ that His dominion would be made manifest in the love of the Brethren.

  9. Libby Kabachia says:

    “I married a black woman because she’s Jasmine.” My absolute favorite sentence because of its simplicity and truth.

  10. I love reading a man’s love for his wife no matter what color they both are! However, since so many black children are born to single mothers and the devastation this has brought to black communities, it does especially warm my heart to see and hear of strong black families knowing they will raise godly offspring! Bless you.

  11. Becky Morecraft says:

    Hi, Phillip. We haven’t met yet, but I look forward to the time that the Lord will cause our pathways to intersect. You have met my daughter Mercy. I don’t usually post comments on blogs, mostly because of the time factor involved. In fact logically, this is one of the worst weekends for me to take time to post a comment or even make one! My precious father’s funeral is this weekend. But, after reading this post, I feel compelled to take the time to applaud you for your beautifully expressed biblical perspective. I believe you are exactly right on all counts, and it thrills me to see any Christian man speak out for a biblical basis for marriage rather than the superfivial onesvthat are popular. Thank you so much! Give Jasmine a hug for me and Mercy.

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