Here’s Why You Struggle With the Race Conversation
People often interpret life through their personal and individual worldviews. I would go so far as to say that a great symptom of our sinful nature is how hiddenly narcissistic we can be to think that our experience is the only experience that matters. Both sides of the race conversation does this.
The phrase “I don’t see color” is a common example of this, usually said to make a black person feel better about their struggle. The first thought that pops in my mind when someone says that is always, “Well, that’s lovely. I wish how you saw the world was THE way everyone saw it. It’d be a better place.” And black people have their “that’s racist” card that we’re always ready to play like we’re cutting diamonds with the ace of spades.
A Problem Doesn’t Exist If It’s Not Mine
If that gets you in a uncomfortable mood, let me switch it up and explain it from a different angle. I was able to understand why people are struggling with the race conversation when my wife was talking with me about women’s roles in the church. Even as she explained her concerns, I halfheartedly listened because I, “know what the Bible says.” And of course, I nearly led off my response with, “Well the Bible says…” which could be seen as equivalent to leading off a race discussion with #alllivesmatter. What would make me respond that way? Well, it’s simple. Her problem wasn’t a problem for me, so therefore the problem didn’t exist.
Racism Is In America’s Ethos
Racism is built into the ethos of America. It’s in the fibers of our nation’s flag. It’s in the pores of her skin. It’s laced in her bloodstream. If you struggle with the race conversation, it’s because you can’t see it. You can’t imagine the effects of wondering why “skin-colored” band-aids didn’t match yours. You can’t imagine the effects of wondering if this lady following you in the store is doing so just because you’re black. These personal and individual worldviews are forever ingrained our culture.
Can it actually change?
Not if you’re busy trying to convince black people that they’re overreacting. Your dismissal of America’s inherited racism is not helping; If we continue to ignore smog in the air, we’ll never deal with the ventilation.
If you’re hoping in a racism or sexism free world, your hope is infantile, especially in a cruel world where people in power will always prey on the vulnerable and the oppressed.
Let me share how I should have responded to my wife. If she feels oppressed because our culture tells her she’s not pretty enough or valuable enough, I lean in and confirm that her emotions are a right response to a broken world where sexism does exists, but also try to point her and exemplify the greater revelation of the person of Jesus who transferred His righteousness into her for her sins, (2 Cor. 5:21) marked her and sealed her with the Holy Spirit, (Eph. 1:13) while also boldly and courageously promising her, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. Here you see the guarantee of trouble, but the promise of peace and redemption in Jesus Christ.
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“tripin” unless it is true. Or do we even care if what I said its true. Look at the time stamp. This “dude” is the first and only comment for 8 days. One might ask: why would RAAN or TGC with administrative power over comments allow one commenter to accuse another commenter of being unhinged or under the influence of drugs, “trippingggggg”, while commenting? Perhaps allowing this degradation serves the same purpose that some other segregationist use to use; Just stand by, let them or help them be falsely accused, say nothing, do nothing and hope they will get discourage and go away. Or, just block (silence) them. If I have said anything that is not true then I am tripin. But I am not on drugs or unhinged. What I have said is true. This conversation is hard. But we willingly make ourselves a target, those of us who love the church, by speak up as even we are torn over this. How can we submit Yet call the leadership to repentance without making them a target? I’m sure Peter (the church) didn’t like Paul (the church) in his face in public ether. I am not near a Paul to call them out by name in public, but we sure need a Paul now. Praying for us now.
steve phelps
A timely article for me, i was wondering if you have a definition of “race” that you can provide as i’m not sure that what it means in my culture is necessarily the same as America.
Jim
John: I don’t think there is an argument that will ever be satisfactory. I do know this – God is “no respecter”, of any person (Acts 10:34). He does not play favorites. And it would behoove all men and women to be reconciled to God rather than seeking impossible humanist wisdom and rhetoric to bring reconciliation in this fallen world. Only when Christ becomes our object of affection will men throw off their conceit, selfishness, and self-love. I ask, “Where is the humility of Christ?” His suffering and dying for all of us fallen creatures? Only true believers can practice this humility. If we belong to Him, then what does it matter ultimately what others say and do?
Emily
Thank you for comparing racism talks to sexism talks. I feel like they are similar, but I am afraid to bring them up. One issue in particular is how to distinguish actual sexism (or racism) from just a breakdown in communication. For example, if I am in a conversation with a man about exercise (which I studied in college), I get frustrated when they don’t agree with my assertion. I feel like my knowledge is being dismissed because I am a woman. But my husband has pointed out to me that it is not always because I am a woman, but that I have failed to make a convincing argument. I don’t think this is always the case, but I am sure it is sometimes the case. Is the same true of racism? That what feels like racism isn’t always racism? It’s kind of a different topic, so I don’t mind if it isn’t addressed. I also just wonder if this is another reason why it is difficult to have conversations about racism…sometimes (and I have no idea how often) the case being argued is not actually racism at all, so the conversation goes nowhere and makes it harder to have future conversations.
Claude Ball
Hey John!
Would love to hear how your experience has been. Can you shoot me an email explaining your frustration whenever you get a chance? claudebball@gmail.com
John
I don’t think my struggle with the race conversation stems from not seeing the problem. I think my struggle is that it is absolutely exasperating to try and make movements towards reconciliation only to have them endlessly criticized. I can’t do anything right in the situation – so why try?
Jim
Thanks pastor. Good article. You placed Christ and His words above man made or should I say, man attempted solutions to problems that will never be settled or healed in this fallen world. You and your bride stay in the word of God. Trust him as you are doing now as believers in your Savior. The believers reward comes after we leave this world.
Claude Ball
Hi Jaddie. I’m really thankful you took the time to read and comment. I’m afraid I’m a little confused by your critique because of this quote “Be humbled by the fact that your wife came to you expressing her concern and then repent that you took it so lightly, ask your wife for forgiveness and then carry on with humility.” That was the reason I wrote the article because I realized I wasn’t listening.
And by “pointing” I simply meant the call of husbands AND wives to point and encourage the other to grow in Christ by listening well as Jesus would. My wife points me to Jesus as well when she does that. Just wanted to clear the air.
Jaddie Ruth Edwards
Mr. Ball, your response to how you should have responded to your wife is steeped in misogyny. You sound as if you feel superior to women–your wife. You stated how you should “try to point her and exemplify the greater revelation of the person of Jesus who transferred His righteousness into her for her sins, (2 Cor. 5:21) marked her and sealed her with the Holy Spirit”. Mr. Ball, women including your wife, we’ve already received the freedom that Christ offers us. I feel that you, like any white person who does not understand my (our) pain as an African American, would rather turn to some theological discourse than to repent of your bias toward women. LISTEN!!!! And then LISTEN some more. Just as we don’t need white people to heal us by quoting scripture, we do not need men to heal us by quoting scripture. Be humbled by the fact that your wife came to you expressing her concern and then repent that you took it so lightly, ask your wife for forgiveness and then carry on with humility. It appears that God is trying to sanctify something inside of your heart. As a pastor you will have many people with many different concerns coming you to and their concerns will not necessarily be a problems for you. However, you must listen and not give a quick answer and leave the person more devastated. Pastoring is serious business, and people don’t always know Jesus or scripture, but they know you and are looking to you for guidance.
Darius
This last dude that commented was trippingggggg bro
g
Thank you Mr. Ball for your pastoral advice and comfort. We are particularly instructed by your reminder to look to Christ for our ultimate identity. Unfortunately many leaders in the church have changed the verse you quote into ( in this church you will have many troubles) as if to say we are to learn to live with this type of sin in the leadership of our churches and that we should sit down and be silent as our dark skinned brothers and sisters ,like your wife, are to take comfort when they are degraded in Gods’ church. Nope! The time has come for those who can see this sin to pay the price as we openly and publicly rebuke this attitude as it occurs in the church. We have gone to the these leaders in private. We have gone to them with other brothers in private. Now we take this public sin to the church publicly as instructed in scripture. The cost for that is high because it is the undershepards that are in this historic pattern of sin against your wife. This is historically awkward because of the God given power and position of these men involved since we are also commanded to submit to these same men. But not in this as we still say that the American church has been factioned by these types of leaders into this shades of whiteness sin for long enough. God is disciplining the American Church on behalf of your wife at this time, not the nation, because of this sin. He may destroy a nation, but He has not disciplined a nation for more than 2000 years. We, HIs elect, have angered Him with this ethnic sin against your wife. We are talking about those who are afraid to speak up and publicly defend your wife because of what the church will do to them for that. This is the oldest and most original ongoing American church sin. It has cause Jesus name to be associated with evil for much too long. We believe He has said enough of this sin against your wife. He is using our own nation to discipline the church now; Romans 13. Surely we are not too blind to see this in scripture? According to scripture, He may even use another nation if necessary. I hope we wake up to this sin against your wife at our core before He takes the “lamp stand”. Some of us do not sit by while your wife is degraded or ignored in the preaching and private conversations in the church, whether she is present when it happens or not. Some of us have paid dearly for defending your wife whether we knew her or not. We know church leadership has historically made church life very difficult for those who confront them in this sin against your wife. We expect the same now. I assure us we will experience pain. But our hope, focus and reward must be in heaven even as we long and work for this purity of the church now. We plead for others to consider the cost of defending your wife. And if God has given some eyes and endurance, take courage with us so as to repent, act and pleased God. Perhaps then He will have mercy on us as we see a new generation of made in His image people rise up in obedience as the ethically mixed “cloud of witnesses” church He means it to be. Praying for us now.