I Was Supposed to Get Married Months Ago

Adrian Anderson

I was supposed to get married months ago. It was interesting when I got asked, “When’s the date?”, “Still engaged?”, or “How’s the wedding planning going?” And no matter how gently I responded, people always got uncomfortable and tensed up.

At Christ Community Chapel, I minister to young people, ranging from middle school to young adults. I see people across the spectrum of what I would argue are the most formative years. Over and over, one of the primary concerns for students and young adults are their romantic relationships. They’re worried about the significant other they have or don’t have, when they should have a significant other, or if they will ever have a significant other.

This advice is for you single, unmarried, folks who aren’t dating.  Simple reminders, really.

Satisfaction > Contentment

Satisfaction is better than contentment.  I’d encourage you not to be satisfied being content, but be satisfied. Contentment means “a state of happiness.” Satisfaction means “fulfillment of one’s wishes, expectations, or needs.”

To be clear, contentment isn’t bad, but culturally, contentment synonymous with settling, taking the hand your dealt, or just “being okay.”  We say things like, “I’m content with being single.” But truth be told, what we often mean is we’re not really that happy. We just want to get out of this season of singleness and start dating someone so we can get engaged, get married, and have kids. We want to feel like we’ve crossed some proverbial Christian milestone.

I understand that no one wants to live alone for the rest of their life. And I don’t want to seem like I’m being insensitive. Being alone isn’t fun and it’s difficult seeing all your friends get married and have kids, while you’re still finding someone who will even text you back. I know and I feel it. You may be a mature, growing, fun to be with, attractive human being who is loving Jesus and serving Him, but still wonder why you haven’t found “the one” yet. The truth is that only Jesus knows, but let’s make sure one thing is clear: if you focus on Jesus, you’ll be more than just content; you will be satisfied.

Don’t Forget Who You Are

Why is Jesus enough? You are a sinner; along with every person on the planet. All equally deserve the wrath of God, but you were called before the foundations of the earth to know and love Jesus. By His perfect life and substitutionary death and subsequent resurrection, you have been justified in the sight of a holy God.

Your singleness may feel like hell, but it’s only a little hell —one that you can bear and one that you have power over because your identity is in Christ. Throughout the New Testament, Paul brings to light the importance of the Gospel of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15), the importance of you belonging to Jesus (Ephesians 1), and freedom from anxieties found in Christ (1 Corinthians 7:32). Jesus sees what you need and knows what you desire, but live for today, prepare for what the Lord may or may not give you, and seek first his kingdom.

Fix your eyes on Jesus. Be satisfied in him.

1 Comment

  1. Heather Humphrey

    Thank you for writing this short yet profound post. I find that God is consistently teaching me that I need to be satisfied in Him yet I think marriage will finally bring me the happiness, contentment and satisfaction I long for. It’s an everyday battle to “turn my eyes from looking at worthless things and give me life in (your) His ways” Psalm 119:37. How encouraging that when we see our single friends post their engagement and marriage pics on social media we can rest in our hope that Jesus is the ultimate satisfier. He has given us everything we need for life. It’s my prayer that singles (myself included) keep our eyes fixed firmly on Jesus and how we can love and serve Him regardless if that spouse comes. “I Need Thee Every Hour.”

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